Thank you!

I wanted to first say the biggest, most heartfelt thank you to all who’ve left the warmest thoughts here at Xanga and for those of you who sent me sweet emails full of love, encouragement, and support (and thank you to those of you who de-lurked to leave a kind word~it is so appreciated {I know the comment system at Xanga is kind of a pain}!). It warmed my heart and my belly to no end. Seriously. I was full of warm fuzzies and hope. You are tremendous, tremendous blogworld friends (and I hadn’t realized that so many of my real-world friends read my blog too, woo!), and I am glad that I could share this scary moment in our lives with you. You helped to make me feel that anything was indeed possible and that the fear didn’t need to take over. Yesterday was a good day for me just because of your thoughts. I went into the doctor’s office in good spirits and even joked around and had a good laugh with the doc’s nurses (my veins weren’t cooperating…they had to stick me 6 times before they were able to find any blood!).

I tried to squeeze this post in today before my doctor called with the results (I wanted to post all the fun things I have stored up to share). He is so professional and effective and personable. He called me before I got a chance to post today and it doesn’t look good. At all. My hormone levels are declining, and that, coupled with my multiple ultrasounds, points him to almost 100% certainty this will end in miscarriage. Although I had come to terms mostly with this probability over the past week (I’ve been feeling less pregnant over the last few days…less swelling, less queasiness, less belly-burbles), I still had to have myself a big cry this morning with my family. Mom and Dad and Lizzie and Monkey are amazing. They know just how to soothe me and send me hugs via phone just when I needed it most.

It’s wonderful to be loved. I hope you all know how loved you helped make me and our bump feel.

I owe many of you return emails (thank you so much for thinking about me), and I promise, promise to write back soon.

This is going to be difficult, but we’ll make it through just fine. I have an outstanding support network in my family and friends, and for that, I am infinitely grateful. Thank you all!