misc. gnome blather

Big thank yous to all who left more lovely comments and emails and phone calls (I love my aunties!). Monkey and I are now at a point where we’ve accepted what is inevitable (we had the final unltrasound this morning. no further development since our last ultrasound and a very irregular gestational sac), so I’m going in for surgery tomorrow. I am terrified. The idea of anesthesia, poking and prodding and tissue removal from inside my body, having to remember to not eat or drink anything after midnight tonight (Monkey calls this the mogwai syndrome). Seriously, I am really freaked about the going under and getting operated on while I’m ‘asleep.’ bit. And all the preadmission questions about whether I have set up living wills and power of attorney and such. Flipping scary stuff to think about too much.

On the up note, I hope you all know you really did warm my heart and lift my spirits. Infinitely. Although this is definitely a sad and traumatic experience in life, Monkey and I are both fatalists of sorts and truly believe that everything that is supposed to happen in this world does (like us meeting and marrying, despite being born and raised in different corners of the world). It may be some kind of coping mechanism or somesuch, but it really makes living life a lot more bearable for us both. My sweet mom was worried I was falling into a deep depression and daily called every few hours to just check on me. But I’m ok. I’m ok with all of this. When the time is right and the cosmos are in order, I hope and believe that Monkey and I will eventually be blessed with a wonderful brood of little people. I’m disappointed that I won’t be able to join the mommy club with a whole lot of my friends who are expecting around the same time we would’ve been, but everything happens for a reason, right?

Until then, I am looking forward to Lizzie visiting this week (I am so! thrilled she will be here with us in our new little home) and being able to eat the things i’d been craving but abstaining from (feta cheese, sprouts, hot dogs….yummy things good and bad) and being able to walk into a supermarket without wanting to vom for being surrounded by so much food. I am most definitely going to be not-missing the queasies and the hormonal swings and tears (tv’s had me bawling like a fool the last few months). And the swelling.

I still have goodies to post someday soon (wanted to be able to spend proper time on the post). Until then, just would like to share that Crafters for Critters has launched its most recent round. Lots of goodies for you who love to shop. And all for a wonderful cause.

Thank you again for all your support and good vibes and warm thoughts. I hope to be feeling well soon after surgery, but if I don’t get a chance to chime in again this week, I hope you have a wonderful weekend and a reciprocal warm fuzzy from me. Big hugs!